the twenty fourth note

2012

theaglaia — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 17:11:59 +0000

Contentment is my new resolution.

Lying on my bed…

theaglaia — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 17:20:22 +0000

I’ve lost this feeling for awhile but it’s now back to stay. All in your name… Just how much I try to be a happier person, to alternate between being super pessimistic and optimistic… To finally understand how to be ever appreciative and thankful to God for betrothing me a peaceful and calm day. I count my day with blessings day-by-day… It’s never easy for me to reach this stage but you mercilessly brought it down yet at another finger snap. You fucking had to come up with one or two to interrupt this tranquil I fought so hard within myself for!!! I hate you, I loathe you and I detest you!!! Why have i met you, why was there a sequel that turned into my tragedy… Why do this to me? Why blinded turned into my middle name… Oh fucking why?!?!?! Just go and die go and die go and die you!!!!!!!!! Now tell me… How do I fall asleep again…

Christmas is early again…

theaglaia — Fri, 23 Dec 2011 19:34:01 +0000

Even wordpress is snowing, Christmas is here already. I’ve yet to take a good look at the crowd, admire the Christmas lights and bask in this warm fuzzy aura that lingers everywhere. Monday felt like a Saturday, Saturday felt like multiple Saturdays. Every year I tell myself that next year I will sit down sip my coffee, look at the Orchard crowd, slowly stream through all malls yet tell myself that presents are all wrapped, cards have been written. But no, I rushed through 5 cards today, bought a few presents (I asked for gift wrapping ) that aren’t wrapped by my own hands… I remember years back prior Christmas my room would already be filled with bagful of presents waiting to be given out, nicely self wrapped and cards attached. I just do not have such time anymore as time passes… But still, I’m thankful for everything that came by. The job that made me busy, Osaka trip that added on to the time strained, gatherings and more gatherings that made me have lesser alone time… I simply love December, it’s the favorite month of the year. The world seemed to be turned on and everywhere got liven up. So many love exchanges going on between people… Hugs and kisses… Everyone basking in the tradition of giving and receiving… Simply… Live, Laugh, Love Life! It’s the season to be jolly…

Self note: I promise, next year would be a better Christmas with everything prepared neatly prior. No more last minute decision, shopping and card writing.

MERRY CHRISTMAS to all my dear friends! LIVE LAUGH LOVE LIFE! BIG FAT HUG!

I Hate You

theaglaia — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 03:59:05 +0000

I’m using all my strength to HATE you and hatred is all you’ve left for me to feel about you! DYING A FREAKING TEN TIMES WOULDN’T HELP IN ANYWAY! My heart feels so torn apart…

Someone

theaglaia — Sat, 26 Nov 2011 04:42:29 +0000

Journeying through the northeast line tryna get my ass to birkamyoga! I’ve kinda enjoyed the sweating process actually, it beats running in every possible way anyway. Heh! Just some random thoughts about the past week’s hooha running through this brain that just woke up barely an hour ago.

Still humbled by t h a t fact and cannot be more lucky and appreciative for this opportunity that came by.

My supposedly ‘boss’ made me felt utterly ‘star struck’ three days ago. A thick flavour of charismatic aura that simply spells intelligence at his prime of life! Not Cullen’s kinda handsome to begin with but everything else of this very wise man filled that up. WOW!

Simply, I’d marry someone like this!

Lightest weights

theaglaia — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 07:12:18 +0000

Felt extremely heavy yet these are one of those lightest days in my life. Never ever clocked in this much laughter for consecutive days, it’s called blessing. It’s my blessing. Never comprehended what’s called “laughter is the best medicine”, now I know. It’s the antidote!

Self Note

theaglaia — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 11:45:51 +0000

I remind myself that I don’t belong there, I came in midway, so it’s just absolutely alright and natural to be feeling so. I’m way too sensitive to feel it so it should not even happen in the first place. Three more weeks and you’re back to yourself. Fuck this shit!

Happy People

theaglaia — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 15:06:29 +0000

We all progress in our lives and of course we cannot choose where do we start from so what we could do is to make the best out of it. Or even we might be too young to even decide what, where and who is better but it’s also because of this thing that we cannot determine that mould us to be who we are. And of course, the primary school was chosen by my mom, I then anyhow pick a secondary school which until now I still thought was the absolute wrong choice. The only comfort was knowing my two girls, besides that was the arduous journey which Tan gave that imprinted within me for the longest time and other insignificant matters, they don’t matte. I enjoyed my secondary school days with their accompaniment and all the silly whatsoever we’ve done in and out of school. The sistas foreva, GSS, darlings rulez type of codes still stay. Was it the people or was it me, that made me felt I haven’t live up to the maximum of my teenage days? It could have been better or worse if I didn’t spend my 4 years at Northland. I guess it’s both, the people and me, and maybe the zone and the time. Whatever it is, I grew up there, shed my tears, sweat my sweat and had my fair share of fun and laughter. Heaven was kind enough to give me two girls that would stay with me through thick and thin and through life. I’m contented with just that. Moving on, I chose my own tertiary. That’s probably the first right choice after Northland. I went to a place full of vibrant and energy, a really campus kind of campus. Better than the 1 stop apart NYP though I’d miss out on more time spent with Samantha and Sindy. Heaven was yet very kind to me again, I was given Ling and Wenhui. But this time round I know the problem lies within me. The first best choice was to join the FOC, something which I never thought I’d engage myself in. Just not that sort. Through that, I knew another 100 odd people at a shot which eventually only less than a handful were labelled as ‘friends’. I’m still thankful nonetheless. And then, SIM. I had the ball of my school life here. I came here all by myself, I learnt to be more independent. Till then, the end of sem 5 I’m proud to say I’ve done it. I changed myself to be able to do it. Looking back I can really smile at myself cos I’ve done relatively well. Knowing that group of friends is probably one of the more comforting thing that can happen in SIM. They’re unique in their own way, they do happy living, they don’t play mind games, they don’t inflict conflict and pain, they are just happy and simple people who inject laughter and positive cells into people. They made me laughed the past few days and I showed me the genuinity they displayed among themselves. It’s a kind of positivity which I haven’t seen and positivity is such an important factor to me. I never felt this light and happy and never knew happy bunch of people could still exsit around me never mind they don’t look Andy Lau or have the wits of Steve Jobs, they have the optimism and positivity that Gina Chia doesn’t have for the past 21 years and I see beauty in them through simplicity. Never felt this relaxed where I need not play mind games or to be on guard, all I do is to sit there hear their laughter and join the fun. For all the expensive restaurants I went, beautiful clothes I have, they don’t bring me as much laughter and optimism compared to that happy bunch! Not sure how long would this thought stay, I thought I should blog it down lest I forget the feeling one day, I could look back here and tryna capture it over again. More happy people please!

Midst of Investment lecture…

theaglaia — Sat, 20 Aug 2011 03:52:54 +0000

Many a times I’d wish I hadn’t done those. Or that those memories could be erased and if only the membrane could chooses to store what it prefers to. Those happenings made me felt tainted yet these happenings are my growing up. It made me understood many stuffs but I didn’t learn. It made my emotions and feelings grow up, it inflicted pain and torments. If you ask me, I really couldn’t decide if I’d want to go through these one more time. A life too perfect and pure makes it empty inside, an imperfect and tainted one reminds me that I’m still surviving and feeling. Seriously, I dno how should I feel about myself and all the hoo-has I have done. The only assurance I have is the genuinity and sincerity I inject in every incident, perhaps the only way to make me feel better about myself as a human being.

Most of the time

theaglaia — Fri, 19 Aug 2011 18:33:42 +0000

SOMETIMES IT LASTS IN LOVE BUT ~~SOMETIMES~~ MOST OF THE TIME IT HURTS INSTEAD